The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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