I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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