It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
