ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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