My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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