I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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