He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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