I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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