I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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