you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You took a bar mat shot.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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