I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
