I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
