Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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