dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
