Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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