I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
