How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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