mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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