don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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