Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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