We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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