I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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