So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
