put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Even my vagina gasped.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
