I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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