saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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