I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
