The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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