if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You're like the curious george of whores
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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