think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
