its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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