She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I supernannyed him into submission
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
