So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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