I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
