'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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