We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
