Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
