Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
