saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
