it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
