how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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