Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm always down for nudity.
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