At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
