that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
