I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
