there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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