remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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