i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
