Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
