You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i now understand why vodka
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
