What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
