yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
