oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
