The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
