please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
