Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
