guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
