I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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