I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
