I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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