u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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