Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie