Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
