I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.