come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.